I find my self turning to these words which give me strength. I know I have inner strength of character, but when things are difficult I know I can’t do things on my own. I turn to my Heavenly Father. Being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but the most rewarding and fulfilling at the same time. How is that possible?
Mothering is a tough job and I just can’t do it without His help. I find my failings difficult to let go, as I constantly compare myself to other mothers who I think are doing a better job than me. Maybe I should deactivate my Facebook account? I know in reality our lives can not be looked at through rose colored glasses all the time. That’s what we get to do when we post things on Facebook. We only post things we are proud of, or find funny or doing something cool and fun. I feel like my rose colored lenses get cracked at least once a week. Well, maybe two…ok, three times a week as I fail in some way or another. It’s times when I lose my patience with one of my kids and think “What planet did you come from?” Or maybe it’s when I don’t finish my 15 loads of laundry by Saturday that I’ve had all week to do. Or the many, many times my family eats waffles for dinner because I haven’t gone grocery shopping. I’ll be honest and admit I sometimes don’t cook dinner because I’m flat out tired of doing it all the time and sick of my own cooking. My rose colored glasses are cracked when I am just too tired to walk my five year old to the park. Or the many times I would rather have alone time in my room than watch TV with the rest of the family.
I wish more mothers would have the courage to reach out and share their shortcomings and failures so the rest of us can feel exonerated from our daily struggles to qualify for The Mother of the Year Award we secretly make up in our heads. Maybe they aren’t shortcomings at all? Maybe I am normal and average and imperfect and that is OK because every Mom is just like me! I think reading postings of other people’s blogs, Facebook and Instagram blips is painting an unrealistic picture of how dailiness really is for moms.
My husband counsels me regularly about my unrealistic perfectionism to do everything and BE everything and then at the end of the day feel deflated over something. He is right you know. I need to listen to his words and “Let it Go!” (Disney really maybe onto something!)
So I find myself turning to God more to help me overcome my feelings of failure because I know He doesn’t want me to feel that way. But I can’t do it on my own; it’s just not that easy. It’s easier to compare myself to others and point out what I’m NOT doing than to give myself a pat on the back. I think this is the Adversary’s greatest and latest tool of the 21st Century. Crush the mother’s self esteem in her important role and the family will suffer.
I didn’t know this could happen as I became a mother, so I find myself searching for a way out of this mental prison I’ve made for myself. Is there anyone else out there that has the same issues as I, or am I just the only crazy one?